Future Husband, I Left Empty Handed

Dear Future Husband,
I was shopping the other day and came across THE. BEST. SALE. EVER. (At least it will be titled as such until I “stumble” across the next one…) There were SO many cute clothes for ridiculously cheap prices.

For some reason, I ended up in the children’s section. Let’s just say that I was “looking for all of my friends’ kiddos.” Anyway, I picked up the sweetest, tiniest polo for a little boy. Age 2. And I wanted it. Nay, NEEDED it. Because there was only one left.

As I held precious polo in my hands, the following thought process ensued:

“Wouldn’t this just be ADORABLE on future 2-year-old baby boy?!”
“I’ll never be able to find something similar at THIS price again!”
“I should start buying children’s clothes so that when the time comes, I’ll be set!”
“GOSH, I’m SO smart and will save SO much money!”

Then came the NEXT round of thoughts:

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
“What if future baby boy is ACTUALLY future baby GIRL?”
“I better look at the girls’ clothing instead.”

Then, finally:

“Ima…time for REAL talk.”
“First, STOP talking to yourself.”
“Heck, you don’t even have FUTURE HUSBAND.”
“Put down precious polo AND darling dress and slowly walk away.”
“Now, let’s re-focus this energy on future boyfriend…”

So, I ended the shopping spree in the men’s department. And went home empty-handed. Womp womp.

PS. I didn’t ACTUALLY go home empty-handed. I bought a shirt. For MYSELF. For $10. SCORE!

Ima Waitin

Future Husband, I Left Empty Handed

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