Future Husband, I’m Getting Whiplash

Dear Future Husband,

I quit. I quit ALLL the dating sites. It’s just not my jam…at least right now. In a few months (or weeks…or even days), I may completely change my mind (you’ll get used to it). But for now, it’s not for me.

When telling my friends that I quit, I typically get the same response:

“Good for you! It will happen when you’re least expecting it…these things usually/ALWAYS happen when you’re not looking.”

Now, usually, my response would be:

“Yeah. Right. Tell a single girl in her 30’s ‘not to look for it.’ You might as well tell her not to breathe….”

But today, I’m going to try something different. I am hereby making a formal announcement to YOU, dear Future Husband, to God and country:

AS OF THIS VERY MOMENT, I AM OFFICIALLY LEAST EXPECTING IT

You may now come out of left field and sweep me off my feet. Heck, be spontaneous and come out of RIGHT field for all I care. Hopefully you get the point.

PS. You might owe me a few neck massages once we meet…due to whiplash which was certainly NOT caused by me consistently looking over my left (and/or right) shoulder.

Xoxo,
Ima Waitin

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Future Husband, I’m Getting Whiplash

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