Future Husband, It’s Counterproductive

Dear Future Husband,
I’d like to take a minute to talk about online dating.

I hate it.

I hate it because, thus far, it has not worked.

I thought I’d cast a wide net, so I joined a few different sites/dating apps at one time to get exposure to more potentials. Makes sense, right?! Well, in reality, what I ACTUALLY found was that I’ve just exposed myself to the same men multiple times…that didn’t sound right, but you know what I mean…I hope.

So now, I get to ignore or be ignored by the SAME guys over and over again. But the REALLY annoying thing is that, since each site asks for different information, I don’t always remember why I didn’t “like” certain guys when viewing their different online identities.

AND, it’s not like I can go back to site A to view profile A and compare to site B with profile B because IT NOTIFIES THE MEN WHEN I VIEW THEIR PROFILES. Whose genius idea was that? (Although, I def want to know EVERY time someone views me!)

But here’s the kicker…I pray that I NEVER organically meet these guys. Because, meeting someone face-to-face at this point would just be, well, awkward.

And now, this whole online dating thing just seems counterproductive.

PS. IF you ARE on one of these sites, I’m going to assume that you have not yet viewed my profile. Otherwise, we need to talk.
PSS. Also, go ahead and avoid posting any of the following photos: gym selfies, photos with fish and the “so smug it could actually be a mug” shot.

Xoxo,
Ima Waitin

Future Husband, It’s Counterproductive

Future Husband, It’s Time to Sculpt!

Dear Future Husband,
I’ve gone and done something completely practical and TOTALLY logical.

I started my wedding diet/exercise plan last week.

Now, before you roll your eyes…hear me out. YES, you ALREADY reminded me that we have not yet met back when I told you that I wanted to cut my hair. However, the whole “we haven’t met yet” scenario doesn’t seem like a good enough excuse to wait. Because, let’s be honest, once we DO meet, you’re going to think I’m so amazingly awesome that you’re NOT going to want to wait a single minute to RACE to the altar. And, our sprint of an engagement won’t give me much time to sculpt that perfect bridal bod.

However, the only non-logical part of this scenario is that I started said plan right before going on a cruise. What in the HAIL (southern slang for hell) was I thinking? Oh yeah…I was thinking: unforeseeable-and-unscheduled-but-not-out-of-the-question wedding. Pure. Dedication. (for now) Good thing the ship has a salad bar and gym.

PS. You better believe I’m still enjoying a soft-serve ice cream cone EVERY night of the cruise. Because, ice cream.
PSS. Because I’m working out for my wedding, and I started in December, I don’t have to call it a cliché New Year’s resolution.

Xoxo,
Ima Waitin

Future Husband, It’s Time to Sculpt!

Future Husband, Bring the ink

Dear Future Husband,
I have EXCITING news! I ordered my 2016 planner this weekend! HOORAY!! The world can continue to turn! This is VERY important because, as of right now, January does NOT exist in my world. It does not exist, because it is not included in my 2015 planner. And, if it’s not in my planner, you can forget it. Have I made that point clear yet? (hint hint…I’m one of those…)

There are many exciting events coming up – my college roommate’s wedding, friends coming to visit and a half marathon, to name a few. But, until said events are marked in INK (not pencil) on my official, leather-bound 2016 planner, they might as well be happening in 2030. And, I’m pretty sure my college roommate isn’t down with waiting another 14 years to get married. Heck, I’M not down with waiting another 14 years to get married. (hint hint…show up before 2030…please…)

But anyway, what I’m really trying to say is this:

I’m a planner.

I like to plan things.

I like to plan things more than I actually like to DO things.

Yeah, I know, it’s kind of weird. But I like the anticipation. And NO, “But, Ima, you like the anticipation” is NOT a legit excuse for why you are taking so long to make it to my calendar.

PS. I’m ready to ink in some dates…2016 is wide open!

Xoxo,
Ima Waitin

Future Husband, Bring the ink