Dear Future Husband,
Being a woman of faith and having grown up in church, I’m very familiar (or as familiar as anyone can actually be) with the Biblical book of Revelation. And, yes…I’m aware of the signs of the “end of times” : wars, rumors of wars, natural disasters, disease, etc. However, I’m 99.999% sure that the rapture has NOT yet occurred. For one, I’m still here. For two, church was still pretty full on Sunday. For three, I called Sheesa…and she answered. (Sheesa is a missionary, so she’d DEF be gone.)
Therefore, I have to ask:
WHERE, DEAR LORD, ARE ALL THE SINGLE (educated and employed) CHRISTIAN MEN!?!
Surely, they MUST exist. I mean, seriously. It’s not like I’m searching for Loch Ness or Big Foot here. However, at this point, I’ll take a man with a long neck and/or big feet. I’m not that picky.
I HAVE, however, found pleeeeenty of guys with cross tattoos…which would, ironically, be OK with my “Southern Belle” self. But the accompanying eyebrow rings, wife beaters and chunky gold chains are just a bit too distracting for my taste. On second thought, maybe I am picky.
PS. I hope you’re currently enrolled in a 30-Something-Year-Old-Single Men’s Bible study because, once we we meet, I have some girlfriends who are going to want to meet others of your kind.
Ima Waitin (and I’m a prayin!)